If you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you’ve probably been told to “be patient” more times than you can count. But it’s easier said than done, especially when it feels like you’re the one carrying all the weight in the relationship. So how can you maintain patience with your ADHD partner without losing yourself in the process?
Here are a few strategies that can help:
1. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to recognize that your ADHD partner is not intentionally letting you down. ADHD can make it difficult for them to follow through on tasks, stay organized, or remember important details. By adjusting your expectations to align with their abilities, you’ll reduce the disappointment and frustration that often comes from unmet expectations.
2. Build Systems That Work for Both of You
Having systems in place can prevent frustration for both you and your partner. This could mean using shared calendars, creating task lists, or implementing AI prompts to keep them on track. By putting these tools in place, you’ll spend less time reminding and more time focusing on the things that matter.
3. Focus on Communication, Not Blame
It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming your partner when things aren’t getting done, but this only adds tension to the relationship. Instead, focus on how you communicate. Be clear about what you need and why it’s important, and avoid criticism that can make your partner feel defensive.
4. Give Yourself Grace
Patience doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. You’re human, and it’s normal to feel frustrated. Allow yourself to have those moments, and don’t feel guilty about needing breaks or asking for help. Taking care of your own mental and emotional health is just as important as being there for your partner.
5. Seek Professional Support
If patience is wearing thin and your relationship feels unbalanced, ADHD relationship coaching can help. Coaching provides tools to communicate more effectively, develop realistic expectations, and create systems that work for both of you. It’s about creating a partnership, not just enduring frustration.
Patience Without Sacrifice
Being patient doesn’t mean sacrificing your own needs. By setting boundaries, using tools that help both of you stay on track, and seeking professional support when needed, you can find a balance that works for both you and your ADHD partner—without losing yourself in the process.
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